Spoiler: Amma has a secret lover,
Amma, universally known as "The Hugging Saint," went through a two-decade transformation from a simple fisherman's daughter to an international wonder worshiped by millions. Gail "Gayatri" Tredwell was there every step of the way—from early devotee to head female disciple, ever-present personal attendant, handmaiden, whipping post, and unwilling keeper of some devastating secrets. At age nineteen, when she was a happy-go-lucky, adventurous lass from Australia, Tredwell never imagined that she would soon be trading her free spirit and skimpy clothing for a life of submission in an ankle-length sari. Her eager decision to serve the young "saint" began with innocence and a pure desire to please her new guru. In time, the relationship transformed into virtual enslavement in which Tredwell was on call 24/7 and worked herself nearly to death in the hope of finding God. Because she became fluent in the Malayalam language and had continual intimate proximity to
Amma for twenty years, Tredwell is uniquely capable of portraying this famous woman. She tells her tale with straightforward honesty, fairness, and a dash of Aussie snap and wit. Although the guru’s flaws are a necessary part of her story and awakening, she strives to be factual throughout, digging deep to eschew victim frameworks and take responsibility for her own role in accepting the abuse and perpetuating the lies. The book evokes the joys of early devotional life and vibrant images of rural India. Through Tredwell's eyes, we watch a modest and traditional ashram metastasize into a business-oriented, bustling, mega-international organization. We also see how such a dizzying rise created vast opportunity for abuse, deceit, and hypocrisy. Tredwell takes us vividly through her varying stages, starting with naïveté and innocent devotion, then on to dawning awareness and confusion, finally to emotional breakdown and her shocking "enlightenment"—her realization that the liberation she urgently required was is in fact liberation from her own guru. In a gradual yet determined struggle, she managed to untangle herself from the web of myth and indoctrination. Only then was she able to muster her battered but not quite broken spirit and plot her escape. Gail's flight to freedom—her victorious recovery from a life of abuse and disillusionment—displays extraordinary strength and inspiring courage.
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Holy Hell is Gail
Tredwell's captivating, inspiring, instructive story of why as a willing
slave she endured her guru's cruelty, insults, hitting, kicking, and
terrorizing for twenty years.
In spite of predictable retribution, Tredwell felt morally compelled to expose her guru's lies and her own complicity. Her brave, intelligent memoir is valuable for its depth and searing honesty--a gift to seekers vulnerable to similar widespread misconceptions about spirituality and the role of surrender."
--Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad, coauthors of The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power
"Writing through the wise lens of hindsight, Tredwell weaves into her fascinating story of liberation from the depths of a modern-day cult, the hidden dangers of blind faith. Her insights drawn from years of personal experience render this book invaluable for individuals considering, or perhaps unaware they are already on, such a path."
--Steven Hassan, author of Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs
"Far more than a cautionary tale, Holy Hell is a captivating, heart-rending, inspiring and instructive story. This intelligent, brave, and lucid account is uniquely valuable for its depth and searing honesty. Gail Tredwell reveals the lies, cruelty, and greed behind her guru’s facade of selfless love, perpetual bliss, and divine perfection. As a willing slave who sacrificed her well-being and sanity on what she mistook for a spiritual path, she endured her guru’s ongoing abuse—from hitting, kicking, and scratching to routinely insulting, humiliating, and terrorizing her with threats. To prevent others from being ensnared by similar traps—in spite of predictable retribution and scapegoating—Tredwell felt morally compelled to tell the truth and reveal the guru’s deceit along with her own complicity. Her resulting memoir is a gift to seekers vulnerable to similar widespread misconceptions about spirituality and the role of surrender." —*Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad, coauthors of The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power*
"Writing through the wise lens of hindsight, Tredwell weaves into her fascinating story of liberation from the depths of a modern-day cult, the hidden dangers of blind faith. Her insights drawn from years of personal experience render this book invaluable for individuals considering, or perhaps unaware they are already on, such a path."—*Steven Hassan, author ofFreedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs*
In spite of predictable retribution, Tredwell felt morally compelled to expose her guru's lies and her own complicity. Her brave, intelligent memoir is valuable for its depth and searing honesty--a gift to seekers vulnerable to similar widespread misconceptions about spirituality and the role of surrender."
--Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad, coauthors of The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power
"Writing through the wise lens of hindsight, Tredwell weaves into her fascinating story of liberation from the depths of a modern-day cult, the hidden dangers of blind faith. Her insights drawn from years of personal experience render this book invaluable for individuals considering, or perhaps unaware they are already on, such a path."
--Steven Hassan, author of Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs
"Far more than a cautionary tale, Holy Hell is a captivating, heart-rending, inspiring and instructive story. This intelligent, brave, and lucid account is uniquely valuable for its depth and searing honesty. Gail Tredwell reveals the lies, cruelty, and greed behind her guru’s facade of selfless love, perpetual bliss, and divine perfection. As a willing slave who sacrificed her well-being and sanity on what she mistook for a spiritual path, she endured her guru’s ongoing abuse—from hitting, kicking, and scratching to routinely insulting, humiliating, and terrorizing her with threats. To prevent others from being ensnared by similar traps—in spite of predictable retribution and scapegoating—Tredwell felt morally compelled to tell the truth and reveal the guru’s deceit along with her own complicity. Her resulting memoir is a gift to seekers vulnerable to similar widespread misconceptions about spirituality and the role of surrender." —*Joel Kramer & Diana Alstad, coauthors of The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power*
"Writing through the wise lens of hindsight, Tredwell weaves into her fascinating story of liberation from the depths of a modern-day cult, the hidden dangers of blind faith. Her insights drawn from years of personal experience render this book invaluable for individuals considering, or perhaps unaware they are already on, such a path."—*Steven Hassan, author ofFreedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs*
About the Author
For two decades Gail Tredwell lived in India and served as the
personal attendant to Amma, commonly known as "The Hugging Saint." At
the end of 1999, she made her daring break from the organization. After
years of recovery, she is ready to share the inside story of ashram life
and her unique perspective of this famous woman.
Product Details
- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: Wattle Tree Press (October 22, 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0989679403
- ISBN-13: 978-0989679404
2 comments:
I'm reading "Holy Hell: A Memoir of Faith, Devotion, and Pure Madness" now, I'm just past the half way point. Ammachi is utterly insane, a psychopath. The mother of all nut jobs. Put sociopath on the list.
Thank you Gail Tredwell for exposing this cult leader. I will tell all my friends to buy "Holy Hell" from Amazon and eBookPie.
"Holy Hell' Is now available on iTunes and Kobo reader. It would appear that a "cyber war" is now being waged on the book review sites as Ammabots who have probably not even read the book are spitting venom about Gail. No doubt on orders from Mummy. As one old timer Amma devotee from the 1980s who has announced he is leaving said in their review on Amazon, someone who HAD read the book, "Their hypocrisy speaks for itself and is emblematic of a systemic problem around Amma that is anathema to spiritual growth." Indeed!! Amma devotees across the globe are now leaving in droves. That is the reality!!
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